The Silent Healer

Time Heals,

Lie. Big Big Lie.

Time is a Healer.

True.

So it just occurred to me,

That time is a Healer that never really heals.

You know like how a doctor treats you but they’re not a cure🤔

That way. That’s what I mean.

Time has a way of tending to your pain without ever taking it away.

And now that we have that all cleared up, let’s talk about what time really does.

Time makes the pain less painful.

It makes it more bearable and makes its pangs less sharp.

Time makes it easier.

More acceptable.

Time has a pretty weird way of going about it though.

It is the Silent Healer.

Time has watched my heart repeatedly shatter, didn’t even lift a finger to help.

It didn’t help pick up the pieces either.

It saw me struggle to get past the long days…

The desires to not exist anymore…

The death wishes.

Yet time just watched. In silence.

Watched me cry myself to sleep,

Only to sit by my bedside listening to the weary pound of my bleeding heart.

Sat there until they were no longer pounds.

Sat there until it had slowed down to a calm normal heartbeat.

Time held my hand in my sleep, and gave me soft forehead kisses.

With a sad smile it would whisper in my sleep “You are going to be okay. You will be just fine.”

And no one will stick with you like time does.

Not even once did it leave my side.

It sat with me through my throaty and ugly sobs.

And it also sat with me through my silent and unbearable sobs.

Those times I would imagine I was in hiding,

It hugged me in silence until I was calm again.

Caressed me to sleep and helped dry my pillow every single night.

And not once did time ever tell my secret.

Through the nights,

Through the silence,

Time polished my memories, and in the mornings I could remember moments without crying.

And one day I realized I no longer had the urge to cry,

Time had polished each memory to perfection.

Now I loved each one of these memories with all my heart.

This time not in pain.

But the pain is still there though,

Deep down and up at the surface.

Buried underneath and floating over the many memories.

And every once in a while it shows up.

Fighting for attention and screaming for visitation.

And in those moments, time steps aside and watches me fall apart once again.

It watches as I drown in my terror. In Silence.

And then it’s the same process all over again 💔.

But because it’s Time,

Because it’s patient,

And because it’s a healer,

It understands my need to revisit.

It also understands it role of healing patience.

A patient healer, Not a cure.

@MurugiGitongaWrites